Virtually Existing.

I actually went out the other day. I felt the sun's warmth kiss my pale skin, with its unhealthy grey pallour, so typical of the student (or other long-term prisoner). I noticed that the crocuses were out, the daffodils were starting to sprout, and that I had missed the snow drops altogether. Spring was upon us, and I had almost let it pass unnoticed.

Obviously I do go out, to do the school run, or for some vital errand that can't be done online, but I have been so engrossed with study that I just don't notice anything any more. I don't meet people if I can email them, or go shopping if I can get it online. Even going out for a walk has become something I do just to stop myself seizing up at my desk. I just don't stop to enjoy anything any more, and I seem to live in a virtual world, because it saves time.

My husband has just been invited to compete in an international Formula One race. He meets up every week with a load of friends from all over the world, and races against them. He speaks to them almost every day, and knows them really well. In reality, it's a virtual race taking place online, against people he's never actually met. Can you call these real relationships? I call him a sad techy git, but that's another matter - we all do it these days.
I had resisted this way of life until starting my course, but am now as bad as anyone else, but I don't ever want to forget that there's a real world out there.

So I'm going to try and work a couple of hours a week into my schedule, just to sit and notice things, to meet a real person for lunch, or go to a shop and touch the real clothes hanging on the rails, or go for a walk, and actually see what's happening around me. I'm trying to get this course finished in three years, but I don't want to feel as though I've wasted three years of my precious life when I might as well have been behind bars.

It's music, Jim, but not as we knew it........

I used to be a huge Simple Minds fan. I last saw them in concert a couple of years ago, and they are still one of the best live bands I have seen. I used to love the huge, expansive sound they had, with the weird and wonderful chord sequences.



When I was younger, and and in a band, we all used to spend
ages trying to play the chords in the latest Simple Minds single. They were always impossible to duplicate - we were convinced that Mick Macneil, the Minds' keyboard player, had an extra few fingers.
I often used to find our (extremely talented) keyboard player slumped over his DX7,
sobbing 'It doesn't exist, it just doesn't f***ing exist'.


It was those magic chords that gave Simple Minds' music its wonderful, other-worldly quality, and as soon as Mick left the band, the magic left the music. I tried to like the next few albums, but they just didn't have 'it' for me. They slipped another album out last October, which I heard a track from the other day, and well, it wasn't a happy experience.

I just love the Minds so much, and it grieves me not to like anything they do, but this song was really just pants. For those of you who have heard the album, it was 'Dolphins', which contained such memorable lyrics as 'Dolphins swim around'. Weeeeell, yep, they do, but is that the most profound comment you can make about them? Apparently not, as we go on to hear Jim Kerr warbling that 'Dolphins drag me down'. What, literally? Metaphorically? Either way, it was starting to leave me cold, and the music wasn't much better.

Later fans may not agree with me, and certainly I saw on the web that someone had been so moved by the song that they had made their own tribute video to it, so maybe I'm just being picky. Or maybe I just remember better days, when their music made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, for all the right reasons.

It crossed my mind that maybe they were coming up with such dreadful stuff to try and lure Mick out of hiding. I sincerely hope it works. Mick, if you're out there, please come back before things get any worse. At the very least, you could always mail them a couple of chords......

The cat spat on the mat

The people buying my house came back for another look today. I had scaled down the house status from 'showhome' (please, please buy our house) to somewhere between 'lived-in' (don't want to look too needy, but you still haven't paid your deposit) and 'total pig-sty' (can't back out now, suckers!).

They looked around again, then we had coffee and chatted about the house in general. Now, there isn't really much wrong with our house - it's quite new, but for some reason, I remembered that the extractor fan in the bathroom didn't work. It's not a big deal, but I started to feel uncomfortable about it, and when I feel uncomfortable, I start to ramble. This is not a good thing. My mouth goes into mach one, and in order to avoid any uncomfortable silences, I will say ANYTHING. The trouble is that it's not usually the silences that are uncomfortable, just the things I say.

In the wake of many an inappropriate comment, I've often wondered why I do this. I think I have an over-developed sense of guilt. I'm not a Catholic, but I should have been. I'd make a really good one, though I would never be out of confession.


Anyway, today, there was no stopping me.
The silences got longer, as we ran out of polite conversation,and they tried to think of more things to ask us about the house, and I steamed on, rabbiting about any old rubbish. (don't mention extractor fan, DON'T mention extractor fan).

Having already blurted out that we still didn't have anywhere to move to, and that the deeds of our house were missing, I thought I needed to find some safer subject matter, so waffled on about the cat. He's got a bit of a weight problem, and I thought it would be vaguely amusing to tell them how he can no longer fit through the cat door. The cat, who doesn't like people mentioning his weight, shot me a look which would have gained him instant entry through the gates of Hell, and moulted huge clumps of hair onto the carpet. (How can they just DO that at will?)

Obviously, this made me slightly more uncomfortable. My brain searched desperately for a relevant subject. So I thought I'd tell them, quite topically, about all the big, slimy hairballs he's been hoiking up onto the carpet recently. The comment hung in the air like a silent fart in a yoga class. There was tumbleweed, and everything. I was aware of some slight tension in the air, but couldn't think why. I did a mental check - I hadn't mentioned, sex, religion, politics, or even the war. Then realisation dawned. It's not just any carpet with big slimy hairballs on it. It's not even my carpet with big slimy hairballs on it. It's a soon-to-be-theirs carpet, with big slimy hairballs on it, which, judging by their faces, were getting bigger and slimier by the second.

After that, it was all a bit blurry. I think I recovered the situation, but I think I may have inadvertently dropped out that the extractor fan in the bathroom didn't work......

A moving experience

Why does moving house in this country (UK) have to be so bloody difficult?
The whole process is too long-winded and tangled up with legal rubbish.
I think it is all designed just to keep estate agents and solicitors in a job.

So far in our move, which should be one of the most straight forward, as we have a cash buyer in rented accommodation, and we are moving into rented ourselves, someone has managed to lose the deeds to my house, which meant that we couldn't exchange contracts this week. This meant that we then couldn't commit to our rental house, and as a result have now lost it to someone else. AAAAAGH! I thought that moving into rented would make things easier, but it just means that at the moment, we don't have anywhere to move into.


If we had to commit to the purchase when we put in our initial offer, as in Scotland, it would make things so much more straightforward, and you could just get on with it. As it stands, you are just so vulnerable until you exchange, which can take ages. I have spoken to friends recently who had packed up all of their stuff, had the removal van waiting outside half full, and then had a phonecall to say that the deal was off. (They were exchanging and completing on the same day - not recommended, but I have done it before. Sometimes there is no other option).

How crap is that?!!!!!!

No wonder it's meant to be one of the most stressful things you can do, but probably only in the UK. Wish me luck.....

Onion, cucumber and apple salad.

I was given the basic for this recipe years ago by a friend from India. Since then, I've experimented and added my own bits to it.

Basic recipe

2 Large Onions, peeled.
Lemon juice
Sea salt

Slice onions thinly, and lay the slices out on the bottom of a large flat dish. Drizzle the lemon juice over the slices until all of them have had a good soaking. Then sprinkle the sea salt over the slices, not too generously, but make sure all of the slices get a sprinkling. That's pretty much it. my friend used to then cover the dish with cling film and let it marinate in the fridge for a couple of hours, but I serve it straight away. It's great with Indian food, but also with any salad dish.

Variations

I have added cucumber or apple slices/chunks, or both, to the above recipe, and they taste great prepared in the same way. The version with apple tastes great with cheese and biscuits.

Enjoy!

(PS - I have a slight internal struggle about publishing this recipe: as a student of Nutritional Medicine, I wouldn't normally advise adding salt to anything, but as I always say 'moderation in all things' is the key. Just promise me you won't eat it every night!)

Peak Time

I didn't ever watch Twin Peaks in the eighties, but bought Series One on DVD a couple of years ago, and loved it.
Wanting to know whodunnit, I went out to buy Series Two. Couldn't find it anywhere. I've since discovered that's because it doesn't exist!!

Thousands of people worldwide are crying out for the release of Series Two, but for some unknown reason, the TV companies holding the rights won't release them. There is an online petition with over 27,000 signatures so far, but still no joy.
I beg anyone reading this to go and sign it for me, even if you don't care less - I must find out who killed Laura Palmer! (but please don't mail and tell me - I'd rather wait for the DVD!)

Thinking about it, this happens so many times, and it just makes me so angry. Every time I go into my local supermarket, I can't buy the nice product I discovered last time, because it doesn't sell more than two cases a week, so they discontinue it. Every time I go to buy my child a toy she has seen on TV, it's not available in the UK until next year. We are only allowed to buy what 'they' want us to buy, when 'they' want us to buy it. (Can't really understand that with the toys, though - by the time the toy is available, she's lost interest and moved on to something else, so they've lost a sale. Duh?)

So, I want you to go out to your local supermarket tomorrow and complain about something you can't find. (they are the worst offenders - massive stores bigger than a football pitch, but apparently not enough room to stock both varieties of Pataks pickle?) Anything. Unless you live on chips, beans and cornflakes, there's bound to be something they've decided you can't eat again. Just give them a hard time, and remind them that the consumer is still king.

Hello, and Welcome to my ramblings.....

I remember hearing the name of the film 'The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner', as a child, and for some reason, the name stuck in my mind. It seemed to strike a chord with me; it really made me stop and wonder what runners thought about while they ran for miles and miles, and how lonely it must be. I don't think I ever saw the film, actually - did do a bit of long distance running for a time, though, and all I ever thought about was if I was going to be able to take my next breath without having a heart attack.

Now, years later, I'm studying for a degree, full-time by distance-learning, and it is very lonely, and the name just seemed so apt. I miss talking to people, just to get all my thoughts out, so I thought I would start this blog as a bit of therapy.
So, watch this space for ramblings on a wide variety of subjects, born out of boredom and the need to communicate!